BINGO BANGO FUCKO!

Our two stars, the maliciously stupid Barb Buckle and her idiot husband, Kip Winterthorn, who is practically a retard and whose catchphrase is “Bingo Bango… FUCKO!”, are hell-bent on redecorating … 

…their suburban home in a manner that reflects Kip’s limited intelligence. Kip has no clue about anything having to do with aesthetics, because he is simply a simpleton. However, he knows his hot babe wife is a slutty chick with tons of sexual experience, so he just has to give her what she wants in the long run.

For instance, Kip wants an in your face, gigantic “BIGGER THAN BINGO BONG” sign on the front lawn, which is totally unneeded. Barbra is more like a dogged, anal-retentive bitch than a babe, but her desire to have the whole neighborhood talk about her incessant over-zealous efforts to please is all that matters to the simple, simple fellow who calls himself “The God”. His stupid, simpleton wife thinks it’s a great idea to spend a huge amount of money on a swimming pool because that is how she was raised in her family and the neighborhood, but it really won’t attract much attention or anything other than ridicule and shame. She needs to think again and consider the neighbors, especially some kids living next door, being exposed to her sexually in a major way. She’s already engaged in some pretty sick, deviant sex with her own son who is at least ten years old, as well as being in bed with her stupid husband all the time and sometimes his weird son from his first wife. And, she wants to let the whole neighborhood know about that! The neighbors won’t talk about it, but they’ll laugh their asses off. Even Kip’s simple minded brother, the simpleton, has been around that much, but only to watch, like a fly on cheese.

Barbara thinks having a large, garishly and obnoxiously over-sized sign on her house front means you’ll be seen and your property values are sky high. She does make some really stupid decisions, however, when she wants to put up one wall to completely turn the garage into a living space. And, she will try to hide the garbage storage area from the neighbors as well. When the neighbor kids see inside the garages, they will realize what a giant idiot her husband really is. That’s when they make jokes, and start saying things like “BIGGER THAN BINGO BONG!” It’s just the same as it’s always been on HGTV, when they have a couple that does a makeover on their garage and does the stupidest things like they are in some fancy, designer show. They should just start giving out a million dollars to these two people who have more money than sense.

A lot of sex takes place in their house as well, with the front door open at all hours and people walking by at all hours as if it’s a normal house and not a place where this couple really does not want to get any notice, from any part of the neighborhood, for the next million years, if that’s what it takes. The fact they just don’t care and don’t see any reason to change anything makes them totally unlikeable. It is simply ridiculous that they should care, that’s all. It is even crazier that Kip even thinks they should make some changes in their lives. When asked how he feels about it all, he admits that he “don’t know” since there is nothing to know. That’s also true of his dumb ass brother, who is always hiding behind the couch and peeking out with a hand over his eye or something.

The only thing Kip says for himself is that he and his wife have too many things to be embarrassed about and he wants to share them with the neighborhood when people go around and make loud comments with lots of smiles on their face. He’s already got a whole bunch of nasty, stupid-ass conversations going, like “Do you like my big ass?” when he comes home from buying some milk, “Look, it’s a big ass” while walking in on his wife with another man. When they were having trouble with a neighbor, and she told them to shut the fuck up, Kip did! She wanted him to say “shut the fuck up” so they could all make sure their neighbors get along. Of course she would have been doing it in bed all day long with her dumb son if Kip was stupid enough to buy a house with his equally dumb brother right outside. What happens is Barbra ends up screaming and yelling at the neighbors, who just laugh in response and leave. They call each other names, like “Fatty,” as well as tell them to “get lost.” That is because that is what Kip is programmed to do and does in general when he wants